I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize