They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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