i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
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So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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