Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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