You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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