i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She told me I should be a condom model.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize