Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize