If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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