You work out of a Hotel?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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