and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize