my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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