when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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