also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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