she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize