You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize