My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She announced her abortion via fbk
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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