Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize