Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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