my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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