I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And then he peed in my hair
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