Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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