i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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