Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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