Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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