so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize