I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize