so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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