they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize