There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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