So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize