I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize