R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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