I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
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Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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