Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
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I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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