I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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