sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize