Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i out mim tonsoeep
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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