i may or may not be watching the land before time
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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