I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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