Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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