you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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