I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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