ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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