Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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