Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize