as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize