i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
one might say we're banned from that church
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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