I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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