I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize