yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
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he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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